So for me - I would have to say I crave busyness more than I crave God. Sounds crazy I know - but I love to be moving, to have a plan, to have something to do and a goal in mind for everything. When you plan your life like I do there's isn't much time to listen to anything else (I am too busy). I am too busy planning and doing to sit and listen to what God has planned for me. I am too busy to read God's word. I am too busy craving busyness!!
That revelation made me stop dead in my tracks. Why do I not crave God and His word every moment of my day? When I hit a wall - why do I not feverishly search my Bible for the answers? When did I decide that what I wanted, what I planned, what I thought was enough? When did I forget this passage?
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
Truth is I think I've always run headlong into everything in my life and figured I could solve it. That's what I do. Now I am faced with a problem...only my problem is that I am not turning to God like there is a fire in my heart to serve Him. So now - the ironic thing is - to solve this I MUST crave God, God's word, God's plan with every fiber of my being in order to "fix" this.
I wish I could say I came to this conclusion on my own but once again God had to not only put it on my heart but play it over and over until I found myself sitting here at midnight finally doing what He asked me to do this morning! Then when I gave in to the constant voice of "why do I not crave God..." and looked it up, the first thing that came up in my search was this scripture“What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun? All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest… for without God, who can eat or find enjoyment?”Ecclesiastes 2:22-23, 25
I wish I could say that when I read this quote a bright light came on and now I crave God's word and can't wait to finish writing this so that I can pick up my Bible and wait for the next direction he sends me. However that wouldn't be true. What is true, is that now I understand that I am not doing this right and I understand that I have to change. I also have realized that while I am thinking that I have to change I am also running through all the things I must get done before I sit down to spend some time with God and His word. Whew God must just want to shake me like a rag doll at how dense I can be. However I can say that even while I am thinking of ALL THOSE THINGS I HAVE TO DO my eyes are sliding over to my Bible and I am finding myself thinking - just one paragraph - one verse - I surely can fit that in... so maybe just maybe there is hope for this "Bull in China Shop" gal and maybe just maybe I can see myself not only surrending to His plan but also CRAVING everything He has to offer me.
So what's the moral of this, because you know there is always a moral at the end of my devotions! The moral is this: We all crave something more than we should in our lives. We all put God and His word and His plans aside for these cravings. So am I telling you that you are a horrible person for craving something more than God? No but what I am saying is today God put it on my heart to not only learn this lesson for myself but to also pass it along - so if you are reading this - maybe God is trying to tell you to slide your eyes to your Bible, to stop long enough to hear his persistant whispers on your heart, to lean onto Him not your own understanding....
God Bless and may you CRAVE HIM IN EVERY WAY, EVERY WHERE, EVERY DAY!
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